This means that when I hear footsteps, doors opening and sudden, unexpected loud noises, I jump. The same is very true if I hear voices getting loud and especially angry voices, at a distance, on tv or even from across a room. I shudder, recoil and get as far away from possible when I hear such things.
When people I am with make quick, sudden movements, I flinch, thinking I am going to be hit.
I also startle when people come up behind me and touch my back or shoulder without warning. Calling my name or alerting me to your prescience first, would greatly calm my automatic reflex.
I have one friend who routinely...more than once, has approached me from behind, in a very busy school hallway and tapped my back. Luckily, I recoil and do not automatically punch her. She means well and doesn't intend to alarm me, but she does. So I am hypervigilant in that school setting because of the multitude of adults and students moving erratically and without warning. I have often referred to my walk down the school hallway, every morning, as a gauntlet. I firmly and easily relate to that term.
And if you really want to see me flip out, just throw something, a ball or piece of clothing, that I'm not expecting, in the same room with me. Yes, I will freak out. Way too many intentional flying objects when I was younger. Too many times I didn't duck fast enough.
I am hypervigilant as any survivor of childhood abuse would be. It's just part of who I am. I don't know if that will ever change. I accept it.
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