See, I have the ability to conger up an image...facsimile of a person; past or present friend, deceased friend or relative, Jesus or my image of God. Then I carry on extensive, hours long, back and forth conversations. I find it very rewarding, others may find it sad, but these inner dialogues meet and fulfill a number of needs....mostly I get to talk about everything that interests me, the mundane and trivial, the facts and the fiction...whatever I so desire. Ahh, that's why it's a fantasy...it's all my desire:)
One fundamental concretion of my fantasies is that they feel just as real as your reality. I can touch a person, hug, as if they were directly before me. The sound of fantasy P voice is as clear as day. It is very much just another....very real dimension of My reality.
Anyway, these mythical interactions can feel like medicine, a tall cool one...it's relaxing....like a day at the beach minus the sand between my toes and sunburn. I enjoy it. Its like having a personal sounding board, a positive mental outlet. Hey, if it brings a smile to my face, it definitely has redeeming qualities.
This is how I entertain myself, how I feel less alone. It's like remembering the last time, a person you cared about, hugged you, sat at the same table and looked and listened. The interaction lasts as long as I want it to....okay, sometimes I have a hard time reintegrating into this reality thingy...but it's just a small lag. It's completely within my control and I only selective fantasy friends that I really, really like.
Just another day in this Aspie life. Shedding light into the brilliancy of my inner matrix.
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