For starters, I'm not thrilled with the change in terminology. MPD, multiple personality disorder, was the proper and accepted name when I was diagnosed 25 years ago. A "Multiple" felt like an accurate, visually descriptive title that fit like a fine tailored suit. It implied "more than one being", which most multiples will agree, is spot-on and correct.
As my friend used to say, "the only single person who can use "we" is a pregnant woman or a multiple."
What am I supposed to call my selves now? A Did? A dissociate? DID, dissociative personality disorder, tries to take away my title. DID sounds like an ethereal life style, an aberrant breeze. It isn't concrete. It's fluff and stuff.
I find DID long, tedious and denigrating. And being Multiple is so not that! There is no boredom, down time or anything that truly stays the same for long. From trains of thought to clothing style and verbal changes, being MPD is an ever-changing way to live.
I will always be and forever call my selves a Multiple with MPD.
Like repressed memories, MPD is erroneously thought to be "made up". In regards to both, I ask, "to what end?" What is the value or reward for pretending to have a condition in which one was horribly traumatized, hurt and degraded?
In my personal experiences, Multiples, like other abuse victims, try their best to hide their condition. Blame, shame and guilt frequently conspire to keep sufferers/ victims silent. It can take a long time to realize and believe that we the victims are without guilt and shame. It wasn't our fault. We had no choice. Trusted adults abused and maligned our innocence and self-esteem. No child asks to be hit or raped. Common sense.
The only people that question memories and the diagnosis are perpetrators and enablers. Or idiots with their head stuck up their own ass. Or victims in serious denial who can't face their own issues.
Is MPD real? Absolutely. And it's been around for centuries, ofen hidden in misdiagnoses such as hysteria, manic depression and just plain "crazy".
We aren't crazy. The way we live can be a little nutty and chaotic.....but we are just trying to manage an intense, filled inner world....prevent others from hurting us again....release memories, in flashback form so we can heal....We are doing the very best we can....We are incredibly strong just to still be here. We are incredibly strong to function everyday with arrays of problems, difficulties and issues, non-Multiples can not even imagine.
Hey, do I hear clapping and cheering? Hell ya. Sometimes....often times, it's good to "have people" (another term I like for being Multiple:) and friends on the inside.
I am Multiple!!
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