No, I'm not happy. I ran out of antibiotics last month, and the Lyme symptoms all returned. I'm sad. I hurt. The Lyme arthritis attacked my knees last year. This summer, my hands and especially thumbs. Poor thumbs hurt and don't want to work. They feel worse when I do anything with them , like writing, dressing, stirring, picking things up.
So I've only been back on meds a few days.....not long enough to slow this bug down yet. I tried going for a short walk yesterday, but my legs felt like lead. I was exhausted the rest of the evening.
Feel a little useless and bewildered. There are lots of things going on, right now, that I need to handle.
The boys and their appointments. I have some work to do for my disability exam next week. Calls to be made, letters mailed. I have to straighten out some medical bills with my insurance company. Stuff that just stresses and befuddles me. I don't shirk from my responsibilities. Little things just can be very difficult to do, even when I'm feeling healthy.
Still dealing with this underlying sadness that comes out of nowhere at unexpected times.
Argh, I'm sooo tired but cannot sleep. I try and amuse myself as best I can without any physical exertion.
I've been reading a lot more. A book, science mags and newspapers. The less tv, the better and calmer I feel. Seems I get agitated and crabby much easier. I attribute that to not feeling well. Sigh.
I'm gonna look into some herbs and detox treatments ive read about. Also, changing up my diet to include more water, fresh fruits and veggies. Already changing over to that. It can only help:)
I don't like talking about my aches and pains. Hmmmm. Maybe I think of that as one of those taboos, you know, talking about how I physically feel. I'm not used to it. Not used to anyone really asking, giving a shit or wanting to help.
See, it never really mattered, growing up, how I felt. No one believed me or did anything to help me when I was sick. That's messed up. I can't imagine momma me ever not caring or helping one of my kids if they were ill. I'd do everything I could for them.
Can't rest yet, tonight. Hands and arms hurting and uncomfortable, restless but tired.
Just thought I'd share. I'll let you know when I start feeling better, any ay now:)
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