Ended up taking enough of my prescribed medication, in appropriate dosage, to attempt to quiet my rampant flashbacks. Kind of worked. Drowsy until I drifted off for a few hours.
Up in the morn to get LittleGuy on the bus. Then straight back to bed where I didn't stir until 2 in the afternoon. Could have slept more but family obligations first.
Somewhat functional with overwhelming bouts of extreme sleepiness, to the point I have to lay down and close my eyes. And it isn't from last nights meds or lack of sleep. My body and mind are working on processing copious amounts if new information, organizing it into cohesivivd form. Hope to make it manageable to talk about, in small bits, at therapy.
Emotional and mental overload with minor physical distress thrown in.
Only thing that sounds good is curling under heavy, warm blankets and nibbling snickers or toast. Every outer movement requires effort.
Looking forward to sleep. Although, maybe last nights "films" will continue. The memories, literally would not stop last night. Don't want to be up all night writing again, but a survivors gotta do what a survivor needs to do. I only posted less than half what I experienced. Hopefully, I'm too exhausted for a repeat.
Therapy is early in the week. I'm looking forward to off-burdening, debriefing, letting this garbage go.
Doing what I can around the house and with the kids. It's not much but it's my best. Hard to explain...how it all feels to learn so much about myself and my abuse in one night. Horrid doesn't really describe it and I'm too exhausted to find the more appropriate words.
I know many of you understand.
Thank you for reading
Be well
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