My biggest, solo issue has been therapy...rather, holding up the dam so the memories don't come crashing down and flooding the place. I don't usually have a hair trigger, like this. It takes an enormous amount of effort to channel my thoughts away from that damn memory, and in safe, calm waters. It's almost like I left therapy half-done, if that makes any sense at all. It's a time of high inner, hidden struggle that no one can see or is aware of.
I can't even touch, hint or write anything about the memory. It's just tooo damn close.
Spent today playing outdoors and putting up some Christmas lights.
This is just the beginning of the outdoor lighting....we usually put together a really good spread. I'll work on getting better pics.
Hoping tomorrow to go on a date with my honey. Movie and together time. Looking forward it.
Managed to keep my vow to not shop on thanksgiving and black Friday. Consumerism and blind spending are no longer appealing to me...rather I find it appalling. I'm gonna keep working on emptying the excess junk out of my house. I have tons of things that I have no use for or will never get around to using. Seems people, ideas, creativity, doing things, mean more to me than objects that cost and clutter. I'm really changing my ideals, turning my focus on what really does matter. Lots of stuff I bought just because I could or I might need it in the future. I've been pretty thoughtless. Time to change.
Asking the fam to just make a Christmas list with two items. I've already got one of mine picked out. I want presents to be something that matter And something they will remember and really want. What did I "get" last year? Don't even know.
We've got a lot of snow to play in. Maybe a snow fort will materialize in the next few days.
Outside,all is calm. Inside, all is...well...Dam.
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