A Hard Week...Cleaning Out

There was a lot of activity this week. Moments of sheer panic mixed with overwhelm, alongside peaceful river streams and quasi-meditative states. A fairly even mix of hard and soft, too much and just right. Finding myself more....the words on the pages aren't so blurry.
  Recognizing triggers and possible panic situations. Also discovering calm, activities that I enjoy and relax me.
 Really bothered by the clutter. I went down stairs and the place is just full, chock full of stuff. The closets, cupboards and drawers all share the same fate. We are gluttonous acquirers. We have tons and tons of stuff that we will probably never use in our lifetimes. I spent a couple hours cleaning out 2, count them 2 drawers. It's ridiculous how little we let go of stuff we haven't sed in fifteen years, but we still hold on to. Time to purge all the expired coupons, receipts and broken parts of whoknowswhat. It's embarrassing. The accumulation of stuff to collect dust. Maybe tomorrow, I'll go through the cupboards and throw out all the expired food. Not proud.
I've made poor, split-second decisions to buy.....and it never gets used. Time to put a little more forethought into what I spend money on. What is essential? Not, how much money can I spend? Or, maybe I'll use this in a couple months. It really is quite shameful waste.
  Lots of feelings about this....hard to put it all into words. Need to clean-up, clean-out and get conscientious.