The Root Cause

My illness has forced me to slow down, mostly lay down, the greater part of day and night. With the prominence of inertia, my mind has time to wander and solve.

Visually speaking, of course...long have I fought my way through the labyrinth of caverns. Swatting away the thick walls of web. Hot, sweaty, sweltering and raining with tears, I have sought the answer to the root cause of my body's suffering and incessant ills.

It's as if the part of me that is connected to the omnipotent constant river of life, energy and such, has been broken, busted, preventing me from healing and optimal health.

I have found the reason, the blockage, the wheel that needs opening...a gold key amongst the musty, thick and charred remains. So vivid the feel, the sight, as if I actually be there. It's like the walls of a very deep and dreadful well with leaking, slimy walls, cracks that darn not sprout life, the smell of fetid sewer.

I remember being quite, quite young...looking around, not liking what I say....my family, peoples, emotions being flung like weapons, strings...attachments ensnaring. I wanted no part of that.

Hmmm...I describe what I saw, understanding now, that I saw what most dare not or cannot see.

My small brain figured the only way to safety was to escape these entrapments...never become attached to those around me.

And I ....disconnected