Right and Wrong. I used to logically know right from wrong. I mean, I understand law and rules, always have. Then I knew right from wrong Largely based on those around me. That is where I have been operating probably the past couple decades. I have put most, if not all, my faith in the opinions, wants and needs of others. Yup, I haven't really had a mind of my own. Rather typical abused child mentality. No shock there.
Just a couple of weeks ago, I found myself in a situation that felt wrong. It was a very odd, very new sensation of a somewhat physical nature. Immediately I realized that I needed to change this situation. So I did. Within a day or two, I started implementing solutions to get me out if this wrong feeling circumstance. It was as if blind justice removed her blindfold and realized she could see for herself the right and the wrong. I honored what I felt. I believed my intuition, conscious.
Then this week, I ran into something that I felt was right. There are no ifs, ands or buts about it. I need to do what I feel is right. I don't need to take a poll, ask others advice or bow to the opinions or pressure of others. And this is virginal territory here. A lesser person would continue to acquiesce to the thoughts of others, but they don't know what I know, believe and feel.
I find it interesting that I felt the wrong feeling first, before feeling the right one.
Anyone, I'm adjusting to this whole...dare I say...trusting myself and my instincts. I believed that I was doing wrong and I believe that I am doing what is right. I trust me, first and foremost. Yup, this is all new stuff.
Dealing with my chronic neck pain.
Acupuncture has really helped with my chronic neck pain. I know I kinda lambasted it in a recent post because I'd had a couple cathartic, unpleasant reactions. But sometimes healing just hurts. A lot of the time, actually.
I've realized that I have spent a lot of time, these past three years, bedridden or close to it, from physical and emotional ailments. Movement is a good/ bad thing. Some movement feels okay and doesn't cause pain, whilst too much or the wrong movements can be painfully debilitating.
I continue to work on myself, energetically and physically. It's time to improve circulation and strengthen weakened muscles. I'm able to walk short distances again, so I partake of that. In feeling my neck, it is quite obvious most of the vertebra are out of place. Chiropractic care would be too dangerous. Thus, I am doing some yoga stretches and light massage to Unlock the taut muscles around my skull, neck, upper back and shoulders. I've begun doing range of motion exercises, small, repetitive circles at each joint, in order to loosen up and unfreeze. I have to be very aware of how much to do and how strenuously, but I feel I am making small progress in the right direction:) I can feel how tense and stiff my beleaguered body has become. Time for that to release and change.
Well, that's probably enough for now. Lots more going on, but it can wait for another day.
Thank you for reading:)
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