Many Battles, Many Fronts, Laying Low

I ended up "going underground" after a disastrous week marked by confusion, miscues and loss after loss. I figured my safest bet was to lay low and stop all incoming. I deactivated Facebook, turned off my phone, shut all the drapes, accepted no phone calls and sought out no one.
My dreams are filled with frustration. I am in places I don't know and cannot find the normal, easy exit. Each time I must ask someone else to help me get out. I run for bunkers, bolt doors and perpetually have my fingers on my phone ready to call 911, in my dreams.
At the hospital, the second time, my dad wanted to talk more about the incest. A brother was there and flew into a rampage, pitching my belongings out into the hall, yelling and screaming for me to leave. My mother sat there, saying, "there is a time and place for everything, not now". She, my dad and my older brother have freely spoken about the incest...they neglected to inform angry brother. In the melee, mom, true to form, did not support me Or what my dad wanted to say...she protected angry brother...once more feeding me to the wolves. I was not informed that the "secret" that was now out, had only been shared with a select group of siblings. Not only did I pay the price but my ailing father was not allowed to say what he wanted. Thanks mom, you #%^+=.
No one had directed so much venom and anger at me in a very long time. I was completely unprepared, unarmed and had my guard down. It was ugly. I kept myself together, speaking in an even, normal...calm voice. I held my ground and took my leave when I deemed it appropriate.
The event, so painful and shocking, is easily enough to make me cut all further ties with mom and siblings, forever. I don't walk into hailstorms. And I avoid and protect myself first and foremost.
If my dad asks to see me, I will go.
I answer to no one but my self and my kids. I'm working on getting my life back and finding stable ground. I have returned to more pleasing pursuits. Since leaving Facebook and my iPad games, I suddenly have lots more free time. My tombstone will not read "she played a good game" or "avid gamer". I read books, cook and clean more, search the inet for my obscure obsessions and useless, but fun information, and I'm more available to my little guy.
I plan on staying active at church because it brings me peace ad happiness. I've cleaned out my closet and discarded that which is no longer needed. I also had to throw out my coat angry brother threw and the clothes I wore that day, as every time I saw them or touched them I was reminded of the anger and ugliness. I would have burned them in the fire pit but too much rain. I could not donate
them because of the risk that a local would purchase the clothing and I might see it around town.
I am calming down and sleeping lots. I'm doing okay. Things will calm down when things calm. I'm doing my best.
Be well