A perpetrators confession...my father acknowledges incest

My life Is beyond bizarre. I hear perpetrators actually acknowledging that they committed incest, sexual abuse, is Extremely rare. My father did just that. I'm not sure when or where, but he admitted to my mother and siblings that he had sexually molested me.



As I sat with my dying father, I forgave him and he expressed remorse.
The key to my chains has been handed to me. I still cannot process such information. For over thirty years I lived with the shame, pain, blame and secrecy surrounding my dads abuse. I wasn't called a liar to my face, but siblings and relatives certainly implied it.
I am not, nor have I Ever been a liar.
Hard for even me to believe that all my memories and nightmares Are most certainly True.
My dad talks about it. My mom talks about it. My brother asked me if dad asked for my forgiveness. My parents Together talk about what dad did to me. Holy fucking shit!
I felt like such a liar so long....I mean, it seriously damaged and questioned my self-worth.....I have to figure out how to accept all this...how to believe me. I Still have a hard time believing me And I was there And I've been talking about it And my father admits to it. That, my dear, is fucked up victim mentality that I have worn for way too long.
My dad has about six months to live. I want to visit him often, talk, bring presents, play cribbage and just spend time getting to know the non-sexual predator side of him.
What does my mother think? How do my siblings Now feel about me? I don't know...I just don't know...not sure that I care.....life is so fucking weirdy...mine anyway