Every being who is born is given a universe that will meet all of their needs, love, acceptance, nurturing, security and stability, plus everything they need to grow and thrive. The only analogy I could find, each person is born a ten gallon full can of gas. As life progressed, I started using up the fuel, until I became nothing but an empty ten gallon can.
So I stand looking at this old gas pump, built in 1963. It is choke full with an endless supply of gas, but I have never figured out how to use it....I didn't even know it was there, quite honestly. It is foreign, strange, a perplexing oddity.
I think that I have always been pretty good about giving to others. I never realized the world had anything to give me free of charge and with no strings attached.
Can we say "root chakra issues?" The most basic, fundamental aspect f living, and I have been closed off and clueless.
The gas pump is endless...says so right on the front, in big letters. All I have to do is figure out how to make it work.
New, brand new things, always come with a little trepidation. Hmmm...yeah, I do know this is one of those huge, life altering moments.
I just need to take a couple of steps...
The pump is a bit rusty, from sitting out in the elements, unused all this time. It's red with a round thingy at top where it usually says, "GAS", instead this one says "AMY". Hmmm ...it is meant for me.
So I bring over my long empty gas can, you know, the one that sits at my feet. I reach for the handle...holding it like a foreign object that has never been touched. I open...I open the cap on the gas can. I slowly, cautiously, insert nozzle. Shit, do I really want to try this? I can see nothing but fear-at-the-new and strange feeling positives.....deep breath...okay.
I am committed.
I reach for the ON lever.....I flip it up.
Hesitant, hesitant, rapid breathing....all I have to do is squeeze.....close my hand...grasp what is mine...that which was promised, given freely..to me.
I close my eyes, deep breath....and squeeze
I hear the hollow sound, of the empty can, virginally being filled, ever, ever so slowly as I don't want this new momentum to knock me over flat.
Give me a minute.....
It smells nothing like real gas...this is something quite different....it smells like a bountiful garden, in sweet liquid form. It is soft, milky smooth, translucent yet filling. Reminds me of icing on a cake. This is what I was promised. This is everything I need...I just didn't know how to accept it before...my mechanism was so broke.
The can transforms into this beautiful crystal clear vase. All I smell is roses. The color is a healthy pinkish red. The vase grows and transforms until it is 5 feet 6 and 1/2 inches tall. I watch mesmerized at the swirling, warm fluid twirls.
I walk in to it.
It's not liquid at all. It is energy. I stand amongst the warm swirling...little bubbles tickle here and there.
I set the pumps flow to CONSTANT and the nozzle is at my root....the feed line is connected directly to the main, never ending tank, buried deeply within the great earth.
I lean back, close my eyes and absorb these new sensations.
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