Be Yourself

So I caught a few moments of Wayne Dyers show on PBS tonight. The healing guru was talking with a woman who had a near death experience. She said that the two most important things she learned from the other side were, "Be Yourself" and "Live Fearlessly". Her words resonated with my soul. Now, to try and figure out what exactly that means.

I have had countless...somewhat frightening moments were I suddenly questioned my existence and purpose, within the past few weeks. I talked often with God and my physical body. I laid hands upon different bodily areas that were hurting or congested. I left my hands in place for ten minutes- two hours. I focused on the area...and listened. I knew when a buried truth surfaced by a sudden emotional response. I felt and released the repressed pain and emotion. I let it flow and did not deny it or try to change it. I got honest with myself.

One of the theories I had been working with is that Ian mostly made up of the stories myths and lies that others have heaped upon me. I was a stupid kid...I listened and believed my parents. I stored those memories within. I honestly felt that I was only 5% me and 95% myth.

The picture is getting clearer. I have been removing the dust from the mirror.

Who am I? I am a very kind, caring soul who just wants to be loved and to love. I am naive, playful, highly childish, amusing, sensitive, emotional, incredibly talented and beautiful. I enjoy so many things; silence and solitude, hanging out with my peeps, writing and creating, designing and working in my garden, mowing my lawn, going for walks, making silent videos, taking pictures, observing peoples, playing with Legos and action figures (I think Thor is my fav), watching and rewatching "Firefly", chatting with friends and neighbors, reading dictionaries, coloring outside the lines, making someone smile, playing on playgrounds, identifying plants, flowers and birds, talking with God, analyzing dreams, being in my own little world.

I guess the hardest part about living as you are, is in trying to figure out how much effort should go into satisfying the social etiquette clause. How much do I have to restrain and change in order to fit in and not get ridiculed. Hmm, it be a toughie.

Living fearlessly sounds intriguing. No clue as to what exactly that is, but I am willing to explore.

Be well children of Aut! Live Long and Prosperous:)

(original photo at Oak Grove Cemetery A. M. Murphy)