Visual Images and Nightime Dreams

Some days I spend most of my time among the personal imagery that takes place within my very own head.some days the outside world looks like a watercolor canvas that has the ability to wash away in an instant.without anchors, the ship will surely drift.

Sometimes I'm the painter with wide crude brush dipping into the night sky, swathing deep blue across the walls. Ahhh, she always did manage to make the most Fantastic of escape routes, portals and doors.

Hmmm, question pop from nowhere in particulare....do I want to be here? Good question. Seems we are thrust into this world with nary a choice. This comes a time when we get to decide if we want to be here and how often. Ahhh, those sorry, sad peoples that have never experienced the joy and pain of the doors of disassociation. They know not of what I speak.

My choice. Didn't have Options before. Now it's My Choice.

Why does that make me haptearsad? Worried I'll make wrong choice. Damn you lack of self-esteem, I say as I take out the whip and snap it back into the corner.

I hear or rather see that it is spring outside. I haven't been out to explore that whole changing crept for the momentary dropping off of son at school.

I dont know, at least my dreams have been pleasant and relatively pain free.

Thought my life sucked till I watched poor Mr. Frodo and his Aspergian loyal and fearful Sam wandered into that whole saving the world shit plan. His life Really sucked. And his adventure was lightly more perilous with those motherfucking orcs. Yikes. That movie only lasted one revolution due to its loud and incessant violence. I switched the DVD back to my buddy Thor as he is easy on the eyes and has a pretty shiny outfit complete with way cool hammer...Hammer.

Managed to find the right mixture of meds to subdue the pain and sleep without scary side effects. Ahh, it be a most delicate balance. Sleep was very, very good to me. Sound isn't quiet as painful this morn and the swelling is down a bit. Gluten free toast for breakfast, I don't recommend for sore jaw and ear as the " bread" does not melt and requires copious chewing...but I really wanted something solid as opposed to the soft, sparse diet of yesterday. Ending up having a midnight snack of melted cheese that tasted a bit like heaven.

External twitches indicate that while my pain is not as rampant as runaway horses, I must exercise great caution with my physical actions lest the pain turns from snake to large beasty.

Methinks the time nears for rest and meds. Just wanted to write, the Ol vent and connect:)