I grew up Catholic. My parents were staunch Catholics. Before I was old enough to memorize this commandment, my father was sexually abusing me and my mother was neglecting me, leaving me in locked rooms, alone, for hours every day.
This commandment, while intended to be a very positive virtue, can be harmful if blindly followed. Overall, I agree with it. However, in my case this rule held me hostage and gave my parents free reign to be cruel.
One of the first questions that I posed to my therapist, when I finally stated the hidden truth of the incest, was "will I go to hell because I'm not honoring my parents? (and the promise to keep secrets and never betray the family?)"
She reassured me that it was within my rights to talk about it and that No, I surely was not going to hell.
I do not believe that the commandment was intended to silence victims or hurt children. I think the honor rule applies to all parents that are honorable. My parents were cruel. I do not honor anyone who believes its okay to sexually abuse children. I do not honor my parents. No victim, no innocent child that is physically and/ or sexually abused need honor their parents.
This is a very important point! Especially those of us who are taught to adhere to religious rules above all else! I kept quiet largely based on this misbegotten principle.
This commandment reminds me of "though shalt not kill". Overall, a worthy commandment, except for soldiers, police and law enforcement who may have to kill in the line of duty.
It is my duty, to loudly proclaim, that "Honor thy father and thy mother" Does Not Apply To Child Molesters or Child Abusers!!!!!!!!!
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