Ups and Downs

Let's start with the positive. I've been having fun garage saling and making money on eBay. My Partner and sons are healthy and have been very supportive. Therapy is going reallyreally well....we are getting down to the nitty gritty, the deep seated issues. We work very well together.


  The down side...I ended up having an emergency tooth extraction because of overwhelming pain and a cracked tooth. I had it done a couple days ago. Still feels like I've been hit in the face with a baseball bat. Spend most of my days and nights resting and taking enough drugs to escape the pain. Yup, mostly in a drug induced slumber.
 Mostly, I just feel very sad. And I mean sadsad, like insulted, hurt and grieving. I get real emotional when I lose body parts, even something as small as a tooth. I was very attached to it...no pun intended. My entire mouth feels weird, odd and different. Hard to tolerate. I try not to feel the empty spot. I don't want people to see me with my toothless grin. I'm embarrassed.
 I can't stand the thought of even looking at it, so I haven't. Not sure if/ when I can. It reminds me of being poor, poverty stricken and broken. Will people think less of me?


 Just sad. Sad at all the pain, too. It was a difficult extract that took over an hour. The physical sensations continue to overwhelm me and I just want to sit, wrapped up in my favorite blankie,in a warm, dark corner.
 On the upside, I had the best dentist and dental tech. The tech even let me grasp onto her hand when she wasn't using it. My dentist is the kindest, most caring and competent one I have ever met. They made it easier....if that makes any sense at all.
 So, I continue to recover. Just taking it easy. My body is darn good at healing and I'll be back on my feet soon.
 Take Care:)