Broken Friendships

I just realized this saying, the other day....how very true it is.
I've lost three friendships this year. And I don't want to continue to stuff them away and pretend it doesn't hurt. Because it does.

I've really tried to forget...the good times, happy memories, the closeness and the broken trust. It was never implied the friendship would be forever...I just never thought it would end so abrupt.
What do you do when a friend leaves, says goodbye...without a word?
Was it ever real in the first place? Was it just a vague, foggy, game of deception? How can something that was....just begone?
I'm really good at "filler friends"...you know,the kind that bop into your life for weeks or months and then disappear in the moonless night.
God, I hate getting close to someone and then having the door slam shut in my face.
I can see where I probably got too intense, stupid and made mistakes.....apparently there are things I do that are unforgivable.
I must have used up my allotted time infringing on their life.

How do I accept...that a friend no longer cares? Where's the book of wisdom on how to deal with that?
Why do I have to add another name to the "do not call....do not acknowledge me...go away" list.
Sometimes, it just isn't worth the risk....the letting down of walls. Trust can be broken in the blink of an eye.
I didn't see the, "yeah, I'll help you, but only to this point" meter running low.
How do you erase the memories and deny the past ever existed? Where's the reset button? I want to burn this damn bridge....but the memories walk and talk and abound. One bad thing about living in a small town....you can't hide...you will encounter those who don't want to see you.
Plagued.

Guess the best I can do.......is continue to work on destroying that bridge. I acknowledge....that I miss her. Don't want to give her the satisfaction.....of knowing I can be hurt so...but I miss her. Sucks
Tears on mirrors. Banging on leaden doors. Pisses me off when I allow someone close enough to hurt me so. I used to know better.i used to recognize "too good to be true." I used to readily, and quickly sprint away before anyone get close enough. This time, I got caught mighty in the trap.
Hurt, hurt, hurt....kicking cement blocks
Do I wish I had never met her? Absolutely
Do I regret every creating fond memories? You betcha
Do I sincerely regret ever allowing her close? Damn straight
How dare she come into my life and offer a hand up and then let go?
I've learned a few things. I've reinforced and instituted more protocols and defenses.
It sucks when someone you trusted doesn't care anymore, shuts the door and walks away.
Sometimes you lose.....sometimes being who you are and doing your best don't work.
Time to wash my hands. I can't let her hurt me anymore.
Hand me the eraser.
She wasn't as real as I once thought