They Don't Make Bandages Big Enough

It's true...they don't.
How do you mend and repair decades of damage? How do you protect and heal wounds of ages? I think I'm beginning to realize the scope of my injuries. And they are massive.
Day in, day out physical and sexual assaults do mighty damage, especially in the young, vulnerable, formative years. Sometimes I think my therapy and work towards healing...realistically...will never be complete. Maybe I'm destined to be walking wounded. Maybe the extent of what I suffered will only be diminished, softened, and narrowed.
Lord knows, I put effort, full-time into closing the gaping wounds. I wonder if I will ever truly be made healed and whole again...if I ever was.
How do you fix....or do you just throw hands in air and run half-naked in the street and simple accept that maybe this is your personal best. This is how far I have got. This is the furthest I can go. They just don't make bandages Big enough.
Somehow, someway, I've got to make the best of this life. Maybe I fight too hard and just need a rest, a respite for the daily grind of trying to make sense of it all and putting pieces back in their place.
The pieces, like shattered glass, poke and bleed, scattered willy-nilly throughout the vacant warehouse. The warehouse empty, vague and frightfully silent...asking nothing...giving nothing.
How many times can you smash the glass, mend and glue, and smash again before you just fucking give up and set it on the shelf to collect dust? Maybe the dust can soften the jagged edges. Maybe the glass just needs to realize its okay to be broke.

Maybe children without love need to just move on and carry the broken in a soft, gentle, canvas bag.
All is never lost. Maybe some try too hard.
Maybe it's all a dream from which we cannot shake ourselves awake.
Maybe I wonder what it's all for. Few can understand the logistics, the prices and the wounds of this ongoing battle, that I Did Not start, but must fight in.
I never said it was fair, soldier. I never said we would win.
Be brave and ever valiant.