The Truth About Amy

Sometimes I worry that if I died tomorrow, no one will know that I have lived

In this meager lifetime, I started surrounded by people...parents, siblings, aunts, cousins, family. You wouldn't know it to look at me, but for I come from a large family with nine siblings and six aunts and uncles on each side of the fence.
Now look at me....they are all gone and have been for quite sometime.
I'm not sure how connected I was to any one. I mean, you're supposed to have this unbreakable "bond" with those you grow up with, along with this "respect" and "love" for the parents that raised you. I have neither. They were simply people I shared the same house and certain experiences with, now long past.
I don't know them. Estrangement is a most fitting word. They are strangers, faded memories and hollow ghosts.
I do not now, nor have I ever, really, honored and loved my parents. They were cruel, tormented, empty shells that agreed to beat, neglect and rape me. Parents, good, healthy parents aren't like that. Mom and Dad were my keepers, my tormentors. I have no love or respect for them, as well it should be.
Aunts and uncles have fallen by the wayside. My autistic nature hinders constant contact and attendance at social events.  Some believe the rumors of the incest mill, others deny and call me names. No matter.
I have always been a universe onto my self. Just some days it's a bother.
I was just looking at my position in space and time....comparing the present to the past. Has anything changed, really?