Mutism and Autism

The greatest news is that my Eldest was released from prison last week. I am very happy he is home and our family of four is back together again.
Two nights ago, quite unexpectedly and out-of-nowhere, I became mute. It was in the blink of an eye, wait, not really as I had started having trouble forming and saying words in the couple of hours before the mutism happened. Hmmm, didn't realize that till this moment.

Anyway, I went to therapy on my normal day. I wrote on paper the entire time and my theapist used words. Didn't realize I had a lot to "say". Seems the recent changes in the family added stressors and pushed me over the edge of what I could handle and process.
I've never been mute this long, as an adult. And I most certainly have never been public with this condition. Before, when mute, I'd try and hide, not go out in public and use small words when I could. Now, I don't care so much. I'm public. This is just how I roll. I can't change it, so why fight it? I only fight battles I have a chance of winning.
At least mutism isn't painful. Yeah!!! It can be frustrating and annoying, but those are small things in my book of life.
I miss talking with my kids. I've been using gestures, writing on paper, using my iPad and iPhone to communicate. There really isn't much to say. I'm just trying to get through everyday with the least amount of scratches possible.
I don't hate my mutism, because that would mean hating myself and who I am. I won't do That anymore! A promise to myself.
I don't know...my house seems quieter and calmer, so there, I found a positive. Sometimes when people find out I'm mute, they talk louder...like if I'm mute, I must be deaf. Funny. I'd probably do the same thing. No harm, no foul, no big deal.
I've even gone to a couple stores. I smile, nod and wave a lot. Seems the clerks usually figure out I'm mute and are actually nicer, which was a pleasant surprise.
My brain does work...differently, slower. I can't hear my own thoughts so it's quieter inside, too.
Maybe, after all the episodes of being mute throughout my life, I'm not as frustrated with it. I'm more accepting...respectful of my autistic self. It is what it is. I'm just sayin.